I had just gotten into my car to take my 9 year old son to elementary school, and my wife was just walking out the door to take my 12 year old daughter to junior high school. I had the radio tuned to the local news station as usual, mainly to get the weather and traffic reports. I had only gotten about 100 yards down the street when I turned the radio on to hear "...and a second plane has just crashed into the other World Trade Center building". I stopped the car in the middle of our street and was not sure that what I had just heard was correct, then it was repeated and for the first time I heard the news that both of the World Trade Center buildings had been struck by airplanes. My wife by then had backed out of the driveway and pulled up behind me, and I opened my car door and rushed to her yelling, "I just heard on the radio that both World Trade Center buildings were struck by airplanes!" At that point everything else seemed a blur as I got in my car and drove my son to school. All I knew was that I wanted to get him there safely and then get to a television as quickly as possible. I dropped him off, and without thinking drove to a nearby Target store because I knew they had a huge television area. I will never forget walking into the store and seeing at least 20 televisions of various shapes and sizes all with images of the WTC smoking and burning, and I stood there for the next hour or so with other employees of the store and shoppers who had walked in and watched both buildings collapse. My thoughts and feelings the rest of the day were such a deep sorrow for the victims, and such a deep rage and hatred for those that had perpetrated such an act of inhumanity. Like so many people, I was numb from the events and the remainder of that day seemed to last forever. At the time of the bombings, I was in training for the upcoming NYC Marathon just 2 months away and was filled with the excitement of running in it for the first time. The day after 9/11, I began to run again, but my running journal took on an entirely different feel, and I wanted to share some of these excerpts with you as I continued my training up to the point of making a painful decision not to run due to an injury. If my thoughts seem random and sporadic, it is because like so many others, I struggled for a long time trying to make sense of it all...

9-12-01 @ 1:30 p.m. - I did not run yesterday due to the planes crashing into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and the crash of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania. Also, I am not sure at this point if the NYC Marathon will still be run, and even if it is, I am not sure that I will run it. I felt spent today trying to run, but it was more of a mental exhaustion than physical fatigue. I know this was brought on by the chain of events yesterday and literally following the story all day yesterday, last night and again this morning.

9-13-01 @ 8:00 a.m. - Following the events and hoping more survivors are founds is consuming all of us. I am still checking the NYC Marathon page each day to see if there have been any changes in the marathon, but nothing has been posted thus far that I can find.

9-14-01 @ 10:30 a.m. - Today was National Day of Prayer for the victims of the plane crashes in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania. I ran today carrying a small American flag that my daughter had in her room from a school function. I felt very proud to be able to carry it and make my own statement as to my pride in being an American. The run itself was pretty warm and humid, but I recall thinking that any discomfort I was feeling was trivial in comparison to what others were going through. It is hard to describe, but I always find in myself a way to draw strength and push ahead when I think about those who suffer.

9-15-01 @ 11:30 a.m. - My son road his bike with me while I ran today. I felt really blessed to have him with me and just to be alive. I feel like my training right now has no real purpose or meaning other than to just get out and run.

9-17-01 @ 11:30 a.m. - I am still running more so out of the need just to get out and be away and collect my thoughts about what has happened. I want so badly to still run the NYC Marathon, but I am so afraid. I know that if I will simply turn my faith and life over to God, there will be nothing to fear knowing the peace that God will give me. Running right now is more of a means to pass the time, it has no real purpose. I want to stay in shape for the NYC Marathon, but it no longer holds the excitement it did. It now for me has become more of a type of tribute run, or maybe a way to symbolize normality. I can not explain it, nor do I know that any person can right now.

9-20-01 @ 9:30 a.m. - I am hoping to get in a run of 18-20 miles this week since the NYC Marathon is now only 6 weeks away, and it was announced that it will be run.

9-25-01 @ 5:30 a.m. - I went out today intending to run 18-20 miles, but had to stop around mile 13  due to an unusual pain in my upper right thigh and I simply could not continue.

9-28-01 @ 9:00 a.m. - I still have some pain in my upper thigh, but training is going well. It is hard to believe that I will be on my way to NYC just 5 weeks from today.

10-1-01 @ 11:00 a.m. - I feel right now as if the wind has been knocked out of me in my training. It is difficult to determine whether or not I should run the NYC Marathon. I told my running friend that it now holds more anxiety than excitement for me. I know that I will have anxiety on both legs of the flights and on the Verrazano Bridge. My struggle right now is whether or not my running the NYC Marathon is something that God wants me to do. I do not want to be scared to show Him that I have faith, but at the same time, I am not certain it is for me in His plans to go and run the race. I will take it to the Lord in prayer.

10-2-01 @ 5:30 a.m. - As in last week, I ran with my friend and had intended to do 18-20 miles, but now I am extremely sore in both upper thighs, especially the right still, and I had to stop. I am not in panic mode, but it would be nice to get in at least one 20-miler by the end of next week since my taper starts after that. God will provide.

10-4-01 @ 6:00 a.m. - I felt like an old man running today. My right heel is now very sore, my upper thighs are killing me, and my lower back hurts, especially if I sit for any length of time. I ran 7.5 miles today and it was my slowest time at this distance in almost a year. I am sure all of this is being caused by my having to drastically alter my running stride due to the pain in my upper right thigh.

10-6-01 @ 10:00 a.m. - THIS RUN CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS STUPID AND STUBBORN ON MY PART. The pains I am having have caused me to alter my stride. MY BODY FLAT GAVE OUT AND I COULD NOT GO ON. I am now certain that I have a severe pull in my right groin.

10-8-01 @ 8:00 a.m. - I am emotionally and physically spent. I decided today that because of my groin pull, I will not run NYC, and it hurts to make that decision. As the days have gone by my desire to be there has grown, but for whatever reason, it was not in God's plan for me.

11-4-01 - I prayed all day today for the runners at the NYC Marathon as I sat at home and watched the race on television. I prayed for my friends who were there and all of the runners safety both in the race and on their return home. I prayed for it to be a healing for all of the runners and for the city as so many people honored victims. For reasons I do not understand, it was not in God's plan for me to be there.

01-01-02 @ 1:00 p.m. - I was able to resume running today for the first time since 10-8-01. My goal now is to somehow be ready to run my 3rd Boston Marathon coming up in 4 months.